Although I have several posts lined up and ready for publishing, I had this conversation with Neal this morning...which trumps everything else in my queue (except for the one where I talk about being the master of my own domain).
I am in no way complaining about the frequency or length of our phone calls because many phone calls back home are shorter and more sporadic. I am extremely lucky to get a 45-minute Skype phone call almost everyday. Every night when I lay me down to sleep, I thank God for those 45 minutes and wish more military families had them. It's just that sometimes....you sort of...run out of stuff to talk about. And when you're married to a man who doesn't tell stories (seriously, Shana's J and Fojoy's Wilzie are the only men I know who tell stories...and fabulous stories at that)....well...it gets quiet. And then there is just me and him...looking at each other. Waiting for inspiration to strike. Because you don't want to spend these precious moments arguing about money (even though that happens) or discussing work (because that happens, too)...you want them to be memorable and tender.
So naturally you start talking about what you did on your college spring breaks. Twenty years ago.
Neal: I had to change the information in the computers this morning because they had us redeploying into Ft. Hood.
Me: Oh, I'm glad you're not coming back into Hood. That's FAR. It is not a 6-hour drive.
Neal: No, I think it took us about 18 hours to get to South Padre when I was in college.
Me: Oh right...your week of drunken debauchery.
Neal: Uh-huh.
Me: So, who went with you on these trips?
Neal: I don't remember. The group changed depending who could afford to go each year.
Me: So did you ever take your girlfriends down there?
Neal: No, it was a guys' trip. We didn't take girls because it would have changed the whole trip.
Me: You mean it would cramp your style when you tried to meet girls once you got there?
Neal: No, as in there are things that happen when a girl is with you on a trip that wouldn't normally happen on a guys' trip. Somebody couples up but everyone else is single. The couple wants to break off and do their own thing.
*silence*
It's sort of like when you take an atheist to church. Is the church going to burst into flames just because an atheist is there? No. But it changes the experience for everyone at church.
Me: So...just to make sure I got this...you are saying that taking a girlfriend on Spring Break with you is like taking an atheist into church?
Neal: Yes.
Me: OK. Awesome. Got it.
Neal: You're going to twist this into something for your blog aren't you?
Me: Honey, unfortunately for you...your words need no twisting. They are worthy just the way they are.
And that consumed almost 15 minutes of our 45 minute conversation. I am so glad we are having deep and meaningful conversations during this deployment.
Thanks for the link-up!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, do I tell stories, or do I make an ass of myself and then my wife blogs about it?
Ah, either way... as long as you're entertained.
Wilzie
This? is poetry in motion. I can't imagine the stress of having to make any moment you have on the phone with him memorable..especially skype. At least when I talk to Kelsey all day, I can do other things, like read blogs. On the way home from work we talk, and I swear to Goodness, I cn't tell you what we talk about...not that it's so bad that I can't divulge that info, but I really can't recall, that's how bad our conversations are.
ReplyDeleteI love that analogy. That's a J analogy if I ever heard one. And you know what...I think it's great that you talk about nonsense like that while he's away. It's a normal conversation that you'd have when he was home. So why not.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Shana on this one - its good to inject a little normalcy into Neal's daily life.
ReplyDeleteIts got to be refreshing to not have to stress, or feel pressured to come up with something deeply meaningful - but to just chat with the person you love most in the world.
Tomorrow you should remind to buy milk and take out the trash.
Of course you're gonna put it on your blog! Hilarity at it's best!
ReplyDeleteYour live traffic feed says I'm in Berkeley, CA...might be off just a bit :)
LOL! Nuff said...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, that same exact thing happens to the hubs and I! Which is strange because we only talk about once a week and the length varies from 5 minutes to ~ 45 mins and all week I make a mental list of the things I want to tell/ask him and as soon as we're on the phone..."frrrp"...brain fart....crickets. Makes me feel good to know we arent the only ones. Haha!
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, I am jealous of you and your fancy Skype video call technology!! Haha!! ;)
That's a lot of pressure for the call. It's nice to just be together, but you surely can't waste your precious 45 minutes, and well... you aren't exactly "together". I do like his analogy, tho. Pretty good spur of the moment, methinks!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he depends on you to tell the stories?
That's HILARIOUS!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd, seriously, when we were on vacay earlier this summer and my husband was at home, we talked every day but there was NOTHING to say!
LOL! It happens! By our third tour in Iraq, the phone calls were pretty much daily, and often multiple times a day. My life just isn't that exciting that I have stuff to talk about daily. But you can't NOT talk if you have the opportunity, right? Lots of....*crickets*....worse if you're staring at each other on chat. I love you, I love you too....*crickets*....what you ate....how much sleep you got....*crickets*...
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to write a book on stuff to talk about when you have nothing to talk about with your deployed soldier! Go for it Ally-cat!!
I know I can always count on you for a good laugh :-) Y'all crack me up!
ReplyDeleteI agree with a few of the other people who have commented here... it must be hard to have each conversation be so meaningful, though obviously I understand why you'd want that. But in life, (and as Shana so astutely put it) we have conversations often about anything and nothing at all. It's just as important to have those.
ReplyDeleteIn any event, I love that you have these conversations and that you cherish them so much. XOXO
It may not be deep or meaningful... but those are definitely the conversations that you remember every word of for years to come. Which makes them totally worthwhile. =)
ReplyDelete