Sunday, July 17, 2011

Murphy's Law of Deployment

When the tuff-boxes are packed and the unit is boarding the bus bound for the airport, we turn to each other, left standing behind and waving, and say, "What will be the first thing to break?" It is only partially funny because we all know one of us will be calling a repairman in the next 7 days. It's not that we, mostly women, are unable to perform the handyman duties that our husband could (because sometimes they do actually make matters worse)'s that whatever shuts off/randomly reverses direction/rusts through/dies in the middle of the night/or, in my case, leaks during a west-bound storm is only fixable by someone with superior knowledge in that specific area. We change air filters and clean garbage disposals all the time. But, inevitably, the garbage disposal will cease to do anything but moan or the refrigerator door will somehow come completely off its hinges and we are left standing there, wondering,

Why the HELL couldn't this have happened when he was home?

Within our unit alone, by the end of the second month of deployment, there had been a serious car accident, the need to purchase a new car (unrelated to the first), the purchase of a new air conditioning unit, and the discovery that the entire front of a townhouse had been improperly bricked.

That last one would be mine.

And thus began my last 3 months of general contracting Hell. And they haven't even started working yet.

What started as rain running down my blinds during the first west-bound storm we've had in 7 years, ended with a quote in the thousands to remove all of the brick on the front of the townhouse (floor to second story roof), remove and replace rotten OSB board and 2x4's, install new construction windows, re-wrap the house in Tyvek, and re-brick the entire thing.

We sold our house in the suburbs last spring so that I could have an easy-to-maintain townhouse to visit while Neal was in Iraq. I, quite literally, jumped from the pot directly into the fire. I traded mowing the lawn every 2 weeks for a well-landscaped, improperly constructed townhome.

Awesome does not begin to describe it.

Except that I love our house. The interior is painted in blues and grays and all of the appliances are stainless steel. I delight in hearing the girls' toenails click as they climb the hardwood stairs. The landscapers mow and weed faithfully once a week. There is a fountain behind our house and well-maintained, blooming flowers everywhere. Our master closet is so large that the building code required an outlet on every wall.

I don't want to move. I don't want to sell it. I don't regret the purchase.

But I think there is a special place in a fiery afterlife for some general contractors.

So, that's the story of where I've been....aside from helping to host a baby shower for a bestie in Georgia, launching the new Daisy & Elm website, and voting everyday on Facebook for Journey 4 A Cure (which is a non-profit that is trying to win money from a business giving away $1.25 million to charities with the most votes. You can vote everyday and you can do so by clicking the button on the top right of my page. Easy peasy. AND they're *almost* to the #4 spot! They need the votes, you can give it them).

I am "back" and I'm working my way through the 290 unread posts in my Google Reader. I don't know how I fall so behind. Oh yes I do...brick springs a leak, the patio light mysteriously stops working, the dryer hose blows off, the taillight falls out of the back window of the Pathfinder......Murphy's Law of Deployment.


  1. OMG. You've got to be kidding me. Improperly bricked?! How does that even happen??

    Aside from that, I just want to say that I've missed you lately... but I'm really trying to get back around to my homies in the blog world. xoxo

  2. Big hugs! It's really true though; all this crapola happens as soon as they leave. Some would say it's "character building". You know, the ones who want a smack in the face!!!

    Have a cocktail and kick some General Contractor bootie!!!

  3. Oh no!!! Contractors...**shakes head.** Anything involving brick work is SO expensive!!
    Hugs to you!

    PS I think there's a separate area in the afterlife reserved for crappy contractors. It has houses that are falling down with crappy electrical outlets that shock them every time they turn the light on. ;)

  4. Is there any legal way you can get reimbursed by said lousy contractor?

    Have been missing you. Hope things get better soon.

  5. Uggh, I'm so sorry! I hope this contractor is easy to work with and gets the brick fixed as quickly as possible!

  6. That would be overwhelming WITH a spouse under the same roof. I can't even imagine how you feel without him to help take some of the stress. So sorry!!!

  7. I am feeling your pain!! As I type this I have a granite cutter in my kitchen fixing the hole that was shoddily cut in order to fit a new sink. Not to mention my condo complex recently won a settlement from the contractor that converted our condos from apartments. They also did a shitty job and we will need all new windows and decks, and they need to peel off the stucco to replace all that tyvek stuff. Its a friggin nightmare!!! Hang tight! :)

  8. Love your new site, didn't know it had launched! Nor did I know how you started, what a sweet story!

    Murphy can shove his law, well maybe I shouldn't say anything.

  9. I know none of the above is funny, but the way you put your spin that only you can do on it cracks me up. I do hope you get things fixed up soon and the actual work and final bill are less tramatic than the start of it all. I will be saying an extra prayer for you each day until this "little" project is complete. Hang in there. You are much tougher than I could be through all this.

  10. Can I say it? I want to....

    Anyways, I LOVE the new Daisy & Elm website & thanks for helping me remember to vote daily! I'm with you!

  11. so much stuff would not get done if Kelsey wasn't around..seriously...SO MUCH STUFF. The fact you can deal with something this huge is amazing to me. But then again, you have no choice.

    Also, if I go one day without checking my reader it's out of control. I subscribe to too many blogs, I think.


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